Letter of Despair

 I don't know what this is, aside from a letter left by someone who lost all - or rather had all taken from him.  Not literally, of course, because I was the one who wrote it. But I feel like it would be a sort of prologue or introduction to a journaling of the dark events of his torturous life, were it actually real.

    "Indeed this is a tale of dark happenings, of evil occurrences and curses not even imagined.  My strength is gone from my body; I am no longer the man I once was.  I regret the direction my life took those many years ago; though I must confess to you now, this guilt should not be my own.  I ponder for lonesome hours what deeds I could have performed to prevent this fate, what actions I could have taken to avoid the travesties that have since befallen me.  But in all honesty, no action or deed on my part could have saved me from the torment that overtook me.  As mentioned afore, my strength is not present, and my emotions have long ago frayed – to the point I wonder if someday they should cease to exist entirely.  All that remains intact is my mind.  This was no accident that my sanity remains, but was the most planned and most devious of all their intentions.  Without my mind how should I suffer?  Their deceitful intelligence has not yet failed them, and especially not concerning this.  So I suffer alone with memories best forgotten but that never will be while life remains and death has not taken me.  These are memories of all I once had and memories of how all was lost through no fault of my own.  I lay in misery with no strength and I remember the dark days that have passed already and I think of the dark days I know are yet to come.  And yet this is not the worst of it.  The greatest tragedy is that we love no longer.  I  mourn most for the love I once possessed, but alas, is now no more."

(He is not regretting so much that the person he loves is not with him, but the fact that all that has been done to him has left him incapable of love - he is not missing this person and loving her from afar, but rather missing that he once loved her for he can no longer love anyone).

Ecclesiastes Part 4

Definitely didn't post one a day... But here's another!

Ecclesiastes Chapter Four

Verses 1-3

Because of all the evil and oppression in the world Solomon is saying that the ones who are no longer living here are better off than those still alive, and the ones who have it best are the ones who have not yet lived and therefore have not seen all the evils of the world.

Verses 4-8

He is talking about selfishness here – whether it is someone coveting what someone else has, or constantly laboring just to gain more for oneself.  He says that both are worthless pursuits – “grasping for the wind.”

Verses 9-12

This stresses the importance of human companionship.  Although God truly is all we need, He gave us other people for a reason – because it was “not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).  God wants us to have friends, to have people who will hold us up and who we can do the same for.  They can help us in practical matters and in spiritual matters.

Verses 13

Age and status and wealth are not important – wisdom matters more.  As my professor says often, “You can have a wise young person, and you can have an old fool.”

Ecclesiastes Part 3

This one is pretty short...


Ecclesiastes Chapter Three

Verses 1-8

Everything has a time and a purpose on earth – even things that have bad connotations, such as death, mourning, killing, and hatred.  Although this was not God’s original plan, these things are now present in His creation.  But God is telling us that even these things can be used by Him – even these things have a time and a purpose.  In giving a positive and its corresponding negative, we are reminded that when we are in bad times, there is a purpose for them, and that there will be a time for good times again in the future.  This also serves as a reminder in the good times that there will be bad times – we shouldn’t waste our time in meaningless pleasures (though there is nothing wrong with enjoying life), and instead enjoy and treasure those times and use them to distress.

Verse 11

God puts eternity in our hearts – He lets us know that this life is not the only one, but that there is life after death, and He causes us to naturally have a desire for that.  Also, He makes everything beautiful in its time – He can make things beautiful that we do not think of as beautiful.  And even the things we think of as beautiful, if we try to do them out of context and not in their time, they will not be beautiful.

“A Time for Hate”

God tells us through Solomon that there is a time for hate, and yet years later, Jesus tells us that we are not to hate anyone, and that we are to love even our enemies.  I think that maybe he is talking about a hatred for things, not people.  We are allowed to hate, but we are not allowed to hate people.  Exempli gratia, we can hate a person’s sin, but not the actual person.

Ecclesiastes Part 2

Here is the next chapter! (By the way, if you're reading this, it might make more sense if you read the corresponding chapter along with it).

Ecclesiastes Chapter Two

Verses 1-11

Solomon sought out many riches; he acquired many things to give him pleasure.  He had everything he could possibly want, and his heart rejoiced.  But he says that this was his only reward – the temporary pleasure from his possessions.  There was no lasting reward; it was all worthless.  He asks what laughter accomplishes – what was the point of the pleasure he had found?  Did it accomplish any good?  He says that it didn’t – it was all vanity.

Verse 3

This verse seems to support the idea that there are conflicting interests within us.  If we are followers of God, then our hearts will seek Him – we will want His wisdom.  Yet at the same time, our flesh still desires the things of this earth.  With the following verses, he seems to include desiring pleasurable things (such as many possessions) as a fleshy desire that will not satisfy.  I think he is saying that you cannot follow both, just like in the New Testament where we are told that we cannot serve two masters.

Verses 12-16

In life, the wise excels the fool, just as light is superior to darkness (13).  But he says that the same things happen to everyone (12, 15-16), whether they are wise or foolish.  Their lives will come to an end the same, and they will be forgotten the same, for everything that is now will be forgotten in the days to come.

Verses 17-21

He hated life because everything that was done on earth he saw as worthless.  Everything we do must be left behind for the ones who come after us, be they wise or fools.  Our work done in wisdom may be left to a fool and this made Solomon hate all that he had done in wisdom, because it would be left to another.  We labor hard and have to leave it to someone else who has done nothing for it.

Verses 22-26

Life is sorrowful, all the time, therefore we should enjoy our labor and all the things we receive, for God gives those who follow Him this ability.  I think he is saying that without this ability, then our lives will always be sorrowful.  So enjoyment of life through God is the best thing for a person (24).  To the person who God does not see as good, he gives labor as well, but He gives the fruit of His work to the good.

Solomon says that all of this is vanity and grasping for the wind – yet he says it is something ordained by God; something caused for the benefit of His followers… Is he just saying that their attempts to labor for themselves and not for God are worthless because God will take from them what they gain?  Perhaps he is saying that it is meaningless and useless to not turn to God and be satisfied.  For when we do, we are then able to enjoy what we have attained.

Ecclesiastes

     I've been reading the book of Ecclesiastes recently in the Bible.  I've always liked that book, for some reason.  This time I decided to write about it as well.  It's mostly been to help me remember it and to figure out for myself what I think it is talking about, but I decided to share what I've been writing.  This is from chapter 1 and I'm going to do my best to post another chapter every day.  And if you read this, comments would be awesome, because I would love to hear if you agree or disagree with my perception of Solomon's words in this book.  And there are some things that I completely do not understand at times, and would love to know if you do!

Ecclesiastes Chapter One

Verses 1-11

The earth continues on, but humans are only here a short time; then they are gone.  No one does anything new, and nothing new can be found on earth, for it has already been done.  But no one remembers the things that have already happened, just as no one will remember the things of the future once they too have become things of the past.

Verse 8

It was talking about the labor of the earth, and says this: “All things are full of labor; man cannot express it.  The eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.”  I think this is just saying that we are not satisfied with just watching the world; that we want to experience things for ourselves.  After this verse, it talks about how nothing is new, and yet no one remembers that it has already happened.  I think Solomon is saying that we aren’t happy only seeing that someone else has done it, so we choose to forget what happened before us.

Verses 12-18

“For in much wisdom is much grief, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.” (v. 18)

Does Solomon not appreciate the gift of wisdom that he asked for and received from God?  Maybe he does appreciate it, but at the same time, with all his knowledge and wisdom he knows of all the evil that goes on in the world, therefore he is lamenting the fact that with this gift also came the curse of knowing of all the evil going on beyond his control (He says later in Chapter Three that “in the place of judgment, wickedness was there; and in the place of righteousness, iniquity was there.”  He wishes he did not have the realization that there is so little good “under the sun” and that in its place is sin and wickedness).  Because of his wisdom, he has been able to see all of the worthless pursuits on earth (14), and it seems as though he wonders if seeking wisdom is simply another worthless pursuit because of this “curse” it brings with it (17, 18).

“Grasping for the Wind”

Solomon uses the phrase “grasping for the wind” throughout the entire book of Ecclesiastes, saying about nearly everything he talks about that it is “vanity and grasping for the wind.”  He is saying that these things are useless pursuits; attempts that always fail.  You can feel the wind, but you can never hold it.  He’s talking about worthless pursuits – you can work at it all you want, but you will never achieve your goal.

Can one take hold of the wind?  Can one grasp it firmly in his grip?  Indeed, the wind clearly exists, but cannot be captured – it can be felt, but never held.

Love Poem

I wrote a "Love Poem" two days ago.  I don't know if that's actually what it would be classified as, but I know that songs about love are called love songs, so I decided that this was a love poem.  I have no idea why I wrote this, since I'm not in love. And it doesn't even have a name. Yet.


It might be love, it might be hate
I might know now, I might know late
You're driving me crazy and I cannot tell
If that's good or bad till I know you well

I'm starting to think this might be a good feeling -
All I know is that you've left me reeling

I can't escape these frequent thoughts of you
But I cannot tell if these feelings are true
It's too soon to tell, but I know it will be
Not long before I know if you're the one for me

I think I may be in love with you, but I cannot tell - yet
All I know is that you stole my heart that moment we first met