When you get a pit in your stomach and a feeling of nausea,
the kind with weight that you feel slowly over a long period of time, and you
think without much sense that you must be going numb.
When you lose yourself in a myriad of emotions, you cry, you
run to the toilet to be sick, and you worry about the people you love with a
keen sense of loss and grief as if they are already gone, and you realize you
have been numb for some time.
This is not when you go numb. This is when you begin to
wake, when you begin to feel again. And in the midst of the bitterest feelings
of sorrow, you think this must be the beginning and that things must get better
from here.
But you’re not sure you really believe it.
