The Different

I remember when we used to talk. We used to talk of the things that we wrote. And the things that we wrote were different. But the things that we wrote were the same. Now we never talk. And I read the things that you write and I read the things that I write and I never see the same. I see the different, is all I see. I remember when we used to talk. And our lives were different. But our lives were the same. Now we never talk. And I read the things that you write and I read the things that I write and I never see the same. I see the different, is all I see. How very different is this life, lived out by you. How very different is this life, lived out by me.

3/14

[An Imagination Growing Cold]

An imagination growing cold,

Possessing no dream or lasting hope.

I have fallen for a deeper trope:

New words proclaiming meanings old.

Imagination believed the claim,

Embellishing where falling short,

Yet never dreaming it of the sort

Of which to say, "It came

And went; no lasting dreams,

A fading hope already spent."

A feeling borrowed, or rather, lent:

The price, my heart torn at the seams.

Destroyed by words designed to rend;

The power of syllables deeply felt:

To lock a heart or defenses melt.

Some phrases spoken are hard to mend.

I search still deeper in my heart

And find I still cannot believe

The words that pierce my heart and cleave

That beating organ part from part.

I will not say, "It came and went;

No lasting dream, a fading hope,

No meaning beyond a simple trope."

I will not say, "Already spent."

Dreams growing cold: a dying ember

Ignites my soul; it lights my mind;

It forces me to look behind.

It tells me softly to remember.

1/14

Life

Sometimes I wonder where my life has gone. So much time has passed. Looking at the date it seems unfamiliar. 2008. As though it was a lifetime ago. Six years. A lot can happen in six years. You get older. You grow up. You leave behind your childhood. You leave behind your innocence. You realize the world isn't what you though it was. You realize not everyone is good. You lose your idealism. You lose your hope. You realize the people you love the most are the ones who will try to destroy you.

Cause

What makes people think they can take what they do not own, that they can use without permission, abuse without consent, steal without a word, without a warning?

This mentality surrounds me. I see it in simple things. A seat on the bus. A worthless possession. But it has expanded beyond these meaningless trifles, these acts of selfishness that bring nothing more than frustration.

A life. Many lives. Snatched away before their times. Innocence lost, stolen by those less innocent. No permission. No consent given. Stolen by actions compelled by a mindset that says, "I am all that matters."

The degradation of life fills this world. The depreciation of life. The desensitization of our minds. The things we tell ourselves to justify the actions of others and ourselves. A life lost because she didn't want a child is not a life.

This is depreciation: not understanding the worth of life. And thereby degrading it. Without appreciation for another's life, how can you truly appreciate your own? If you devalue life by taking it, what does this say about your own life?

It does not always relate to me. But I see it in the world around me. Is that not enough? The cause may not affect me, but the effect causes me to react.

Words

I let them destroy me.

The forces of words that come against me

Are met with the breaking of my heart.

I reply with tears instead of words.

I send out similar words at various times,

Never thinking of consequences.

At least others stand against them

And do not show outward signs

That words have crippled them,

If they do.

My defenses break.

I cannot stand against the torrents.

If I was stronger, I could conceal it.

If I was wiser, it would not be necessary.

Surely it is not with wisdom that I

Throw down the guards of my heart

To be so affected by a few syllables

Of speech.

What knowledge is there

That would convey to me that I should

Allow words to render me useless,

To render me empty?

What wisdom would advise me

To allow my emotions to reign over me,

Thereby allowing words to do so?

None I have ever heard of before,

And none shall I ever.

 10-7-13

Poem

Written for the dreams of the dead and dying
Deceived by those who are always lying
Their tongues drip with deception
Bitter cold is their reception
Some, desperate for love, think to find it here
I cannot find love in hatred-filled sneers
Oh, God, come cleanse me from the evil beside me
Rip out the fingers around the heart inside me
They are hopeful that they can claim me for their own
Unfortunately for them, I am not alone
I am far beyond their touch
They cannot count me as such:
I am no longer under their false power
You fill me more with Yours every passing hour
I do not seek from them love I do not need
I have what I want and I pay them no heed
I cannot be counted among the dead
Despite any whispered words they have said
Neither am I the one who is dying
It is merely them practicing lying
But some are deceived, some are dying and they are dead
It is for any hope they have, these words I have said
I know there is hope because my soul is saved
And I hope with this hope, the Way I have paved

Threat

This is not just some childish fear; this is a legitimate threat. But as real as this threat is, the fear itself is what it threatens with. The separation from that which protects. The love we have within us from the God of the universe has the ability to cast out all fear. When we focus on this threat, we are letting go of that love and grasping at fear instead, as though this fear could save us. But it is the love that saves, the power we inherited through that love. The power of the living God within us. The threat they hold over us can only be in the physical realm or in the mental. They can affect our physical world, and we can allow them to infiltrate us with the fear they so desire us to have, letting it grow in our minds. Yet we do not have to do even this. As long as we are under the blood of Jesus Christ and trusting in His love and the power He shows through us, they cannot harm us, and we will not fear them. For as real of a threat as they can be, they have no real power. The only power they have is that which we give them in fear. They can have no affect on us in a spiritual sense. While they can continuously lead us farther from God through deceptions we choose to believe or through the fear that makes it difficult to trust, they cannot take our souls. They have no access to the most important part of our being, the real part of us, as our souls are held by God, and He doesn't ever let go.