Acrostic

All this time I’ve been
Barely breathing, living, always
Crying out, searching for
Death, wishing for an
End; but none is
Forthcoming. Maybe it is
God. Maybe what I need is
Him to fill my life, or
In the very least, to not
Jilt me. He could even
Kill me, as long as He never
Leaves me. I have already
Mentioned that I want
Nothing more than death.
Old age is not something I
Presume to acquire, though I
Question often my own
Reasoning for the incredibly
Sad outlook I maintain
Today and every other day I live
Under heaven. I cannot always
Verify the origins of my
Wonderings, but I ask, is God like an
X-Ray machine, able to see into
You and me, asking why we act like we have
Zero options when He gives us so much potential?