Two Days

Despite my ever-shortening memory with the ever-increasing time between now and college, I remember self talk from Psych. I remember learning that it's not always crazy to talk to yourself, and I remember that sometimes only you can convince yourself of your own worth, meaning, or importance. Sometimes I have to tell myself I'm awesome just to believe I'm okay. Just to be okay. Tonight, I remind myself that I can get through anything for two days. I use that one a lot. I can get through anything for a week, a month, probably even a year. It's those indefinite things that scare the shit out of me. There's nowhere to go from there, no foreseeable end to whatever cycle is being perpetuated, no way to convince myself that it'll get better. It forces me to focus on myself rather than the removal of the unwanted stimulus of my discomfort. It's harder to convince yourself you're awesome when you don't believe it than to convince yourself you can get through two days. Anyone can get through two days. You don't have to be anyone special to do that. You have to be special to be awesome. Hell, you have to be special to be okay.