Tomorrow it will have two years since I began writing something longer than I’ve ever written before. When I started writing, I had no clue where it was going to go; I didn’t know if I would ever even finish writing it, or if it would be like all the rest and I would eventually run out of things to write in it. But soon after I started it, I realized that, regardless of if I finished it or not, it was the most important writing project I had ever worked on, and possibly the most important I ever will. And somehow it made me feel that because of that, I would finish it. And even though two years later, I have yet to finish this book I have begun, I still believe that I will one day finish it. I gave this book to God. I gave it to Him when I realized that it was His reply to the prayer I prayed the day before I began writing – the prayer I prayed exactly two years ago today. I had stood thinking of all the people who don’t know what I know, don’t have what I have – the people who don’t know God, the people that don’t have Him in their lives. It brought me to tears, and I knew I wanted to do more than I was currently to show them what I know, so that they could know as well, so that they could have what I have gained in Christ. But I didn’t know how I could possibly reach as many people as I wanted to. In fact, I didn’t know how I could reach anyone – I came in contact with few people during that time, and I didn’t know how I could make an impact on anyone’s life, especially with the difficulty I had, and still have to an extent, with talking to people I don’t know very well. I can be extremely shy. But I knew that God can do anything He wants to, and so I prayed through my tears for the lost that God would use me however He saw fit, and that I would be able to reach out to those without Him and be able to say what I needed to, even though it was difficult for me. I wrote down my prayer to Him and the date: May 16, 2009.
The very next day I began writing a story. I had come up with the idea for this particular tale years earlier, but that day, I actually began writing it. I thought nothing of starting a new story, because I started them so often. I never finished them, but I started so many, that one more didn’t seem like a big deal. But as time went on, and I began to write more and more, I thought maybe I would actually finish a story I began. I began to hope that I would, and that God would use it for His glory, as my book is a story about God, in a way.
One day I looked in a notebook I had and saw my prayer that I had written to God months earlier. I realized then that I had asked God to use me, and to show me what I could do for Him the day before I began writing the book I now very much wanted God to use. I knew it was His answer. He will use my book somehow. Something good will come of me writing it, I am certain. Even if I never finish it, I think He would still find a way to use it. That is my prayer – that God would use this book for His purposes. I believe that He will, as long as I keep Him my main reason for writing it. And I honestly don’t think that could ever change. I want to once more proclaim that I want God to use me – I want Him to send me where He wants to, and give me His words to speak. I want it now just as much as ever. I still want Him to show me my way to reach the world around me. And I think He has.
No comments:
Post a Comment